Clear Heart, Grey Flowers

My friend had her Facebook profile picture as this incredibly odd image of four girls having a tea party (see Allegory of the Four Elements below), but I had no idea who the artist was. Then I happened to stumble across Mark Ryden’s website the other day and noticed it was one of his pieces! So the coincidence has led me to share with you some of his enchanting, but often, baffling pieces of art.

At first, it’s easy to be drawn in by the cuddly toys and cute (but creepy) girls he paints, but on closer inspection, he reveals dark, mysterious and almost always disturbing subject matter. Ryden’s eerie paintings are packed with alchemical symbols, religious emblems, ghostly girls, and beautiful but strange landscapes which are easy to get lost in.

Ryden was born in 1963 in Medford, Oregon, and studied Illustration at the Art Centre College of Design in the late 80’s. He currently shares a studio with his wife and artist, Marion Peck, in their Californian home, with his two children, Rose and Jasper (I love that name, Jasper). He finds inspiration in his vintage toy collection, Alice in Wonderland, psychedelic artists, Bosch, Bruegel and Ingres, with an interest in Spanish and Italian religious paintings. He’s designed album covers for several musicians including; Red Hot Chili Peppers, Ringo Star, Michael Jackson, Oingo Boingo, Jack Off Jill, Marcy Playground and Butthole Surfers. And recently, his work has appeared in the Christina Ricci movie, Penelope!

Sofia’s Mercurial Waters

Aesthetic wise, if I was offered to choose between a Picasso or Mark Ryden’s Sofia’s Mercurial Waters, I would choose the latter. This is my favourite piece. Not just because of the heart-shaped frame, but because it contains the most absurd images. I love the look in her eyes while she ‘breastfeeds’ a miniature elephant.

Saint Barbie                                                                                           Fountain

Allegory of the Four Elements

Girl Eaten by Tree

Snow White

Do you love him as much as I do? Or are the pieces not for you?

Big love,

Ivy
xx

I had to share this article with you all:

How funny is that?! I like what the Asda spokesperson said, but I guess it is kind of serious that she fainted from her orgasmic undergarments. Of course, I had to check out these vibrating briefs for myself. The Ann Summers website summerises the Passion Pants best:

What could be more illicit than hands-free masturbation in public, with passers by or fellow commuters blissfully unaware of the orgasm coming your way? These inconspicuous black silky knickers conceal a discreet yet powerful bullet vibe in a perfectly positioned pocket. And we’re talking pinpoint precision here. Wear them to throw some sexy shapes on the dance floor, wear them to dinner and watch the wine glasses shake or challenge yourself to get past the fruit and veg in Sainsburys.

I don’t think the woman in the article passed the challenge. But imagine wearing them to a cocktail party or your kid’s graduation? Okay, you can’t hear it buzzing, but imagine the unusual facial expressions others would see? And I’m sure they would happen at the most inappropriate of times too; “we’re sorry to say this, but your husband is in a coma”, “oh, oh, ohhhhhhhhhh!!!”

But the fun doesn’t end there, there’s even a little something for the boys, too! The Remote Control Thong for Men is built to please, with anal or testicular stimulation at the press of a button. There’s a great birthday gift idea for gramps!

Big love & Octopussy,

Ivy

xx

MC Hammer rocked them in the 80’s, Jeannie made magic happen in them in the 60’s and now they’re back! And not in the form of giant shiny gold or sheer belly-dancing styled harems, but high-waisted, ankle (or just below the knee) tapered harems. I know a lot of people feel they can only be worn by the brave, but with the right top, shoes and accessories, I think anyone can rock them. I love them. They’re stylish but best of all, they’re super comfy. So why not experiment with them?!

Casual harem: As the pants are so baggy and don’t show off your body shape, tight fitted tops which flaunt some skin balance the outfit. Add some sandals and your own personal touches through accessories and the outfit is complete! (Click here for product information.)

Designer harem: I’ve seen a lot of 80’s styled harems made of parachute material with hip pleats, but these are tailored and rather chic. Team them with a classy blazer and some strappy gladiator heels and you’ll ooze sophistication. (Click here for product information.)

Street harem: On the left we have a punky/goth harem look, but it’s still sticking to the fitted top rule. The right side is like an underground street look, complete with brogues and a Fendi over-sized collar top. (Click here for product information.)

Chic harem: Because the pants are the star of the show, adding an over-embellished top will just create harem mayhem - too messy. I think it’s best to stick to simple cuts on top for balance. (Click here for product information.)

So what do you think of harem pants - a fashion do or don’t go there? Do you think you’re ‘brave’ enough to wear them?

Big love & Harem Scarem,

Ivy

xx

Oh my god, I just made the most delicious chocolate mousse I’ve ever had! I like to call it ‘the orgasmic chocolate shazam(!)’. The recipe is sooo easy, anyone can make it. Even Gordon Ramsey would love it! He’d say, “that’s f*$&%n brilliant!” I also added two spoonfuls of instant coffee for an extra ‘pow’. Man, it tastes so good. Please make it! I guarantee you’ll be ‘ooing’ and ‘ahing’ the whole way through. Here’s how you do it:

Ingredients (serves 6)

300g dark chocolate (roughly chopped)
3 eggs
1/4 cup (55g) caster sugar
1 tbs cocoa powder (sifted)
300ml thickened cream, plus extra whipped cream to serve
Grated chocolate to serve

Method

Place the chocolate in a heatproof bowl over a pan of gently simmering water (don’t let the bowl touch the water). Stir until melted. Remove bowl from heat and set aside to cool slightly.

Place eggs and sugar in a large bowl and beat until mixture is pale, thick and doubled in volume. Fold in cooled chocolate and cocoa powder until combined.

In a separate bowl, whip cream until thickened (be careful not to over-beat). Use a large metal spoon to carefully fold the cream into the chocolate mixture, trying to keep the mixture as light as possible. Spoon into 6 serving glasses and chill in fridge for at least 1 hour. Remove from fridge 15 minutes before serving then top with extra whipped cream and grated chocolate to serve.

Tips!

Add your favourite spirit. To keep it French, go for Cognac (or another quality brandy) or Grand Marnier, adding 1 tablespoon to the melting chocolate.

Or add a tablespoon of vanilla extract to the chocolate as it melts.

You could also add 2 tablespoons of prepared strong black coffee to the chocolate when it’s melting.

For a cool treat, serve the mousse as a semifreddo - freeze for about 3 hours (but don’t freeze solid).

*Recipe courtesy of Chrissy Freer of Taste.com.au!

Big love,

Ivy

xx

Imagine yourself on planet earth thousands of years from now. You’ve travelled through a time machine and the people of earth greet you with glee and want to know everything about the year 2008. What would you tell them? Would you talk about the ‘war on terrorism’? Or this little thing called the Internet? Or maybe you’d let them know about your cute pet Chihuahua named Fifi?

KEO is a cool operation which wants to know your thoughts. You have the opportunity to write up to four (uncensored) pages detailing your life, your values, fears, hopes, dreams and anything else you wish the future inhabitants to know. This year, KEO are launching a satellite into space which has millions of messages from everyday people. If all goes according to plan, the satellite will re-orbit our galaxy within 50,000 thousands years, enabling our future descendants to decode the messages and understand our way of life.

You can send your message via keo.org or by post to: KEO, BP 100 - 75262 PARIS Cedex 06 - France.

I think this is an amazing opportunity, not just because the idea of talking to our future great grandchildren excites me, but because the entire world is involved in evaluating their lives.

What do you want the future to know about you?

Big love & space cadets,

Ivy

xx

Wow, I’ve been tagged twice in one week! I’m feeling the love. This time it’s from the gorgeous Tammie of Irregular and it’s an “all about me” game - bring it on!

Six unimportant things about me:

1. I’ve never watched a Harry Potter movie nor read a Harry Potter book. Am I really missing out though?

2. I’m a bit of a neat freak. I never thought I was but my guests keep telling me, “everything’s so organised and clean in here!”

3. I have a slight obsession, okay, nearly bordering OCD regarding symmetry. I like things to be even. It annoys me that my list of category topics in the sidebar aren’t aligned with the category heading - yeah, I know, I’m a crazy perfectionist.

4. I love all things salty. As a kid I’d literally eat salt from a shaker. I love olives, feta cheese and any other food that will lead me to having a heart attack.

5. Apparently, as a child, my imaginary friends were named ‘Salt’ and ‘Vinegar’ (wow, I really love salt, don’t I?)

6. I sleep more than the average person. I need at least 10 hours a night and if I don’t get it then I turn into a grumpy bitch. I once slept through an entire Sunday.

I tag:

Your Style Star

Indulgences

Super Kawaii Mama

Boutique Flair

Fat Stylist

Best of Stupid / It Might Be Love

The rules are as follows:

1. Link back to the person that tagged you.

2. Post these rules on your blog.

3. Share six unimportant things about yourself.

4. Tag six people at the end of your entry.

So, tag! You’re it!

Big love,

Ivy

xx

Ah, don’t you love quizzes?! Well, not the kind that involve algebra but the ones that reveal more about yourself? I thought I’d share with you a kinky little sex quiz which will reveal your patented sexual fantasy. Are you secretly yearning to be a sexual seductress? Are you wanting to let go of all your responsibilities and become a sex slave? Or are you craving some thrill seeking action?

There are three symbols for this test. Add up your total score to find out which of the three categories you fall into. So if you get mostly circles, have a read of what the results mean below!

TEST ONE:

Think about some erotic dreams you’ve had and then look at the scenarios below. Tick those that have featured in your dreams and have left you feeling turned on or happy.

Sleeping with your boss
Having sex with your ex
Kissing or having sex with another woman
Sex involving food
Getting it on in the ocean or a pool
Having sex with someone in uniform

Sleeping with your boss doesn’t necessarily mean you fancy him (or her), it means you’re attracted to power. This is also true for having sex with someone in uniform. Kissing reveals a need for TLC, especially if it’s a same-sex deal, because women tend to be more caring than guys. Water is a symbol of emotion, so crashing waves reflect anger, while a quiet pool reflects a calm mood. Sex with your ex doesn’t mean you want him or her back, it suggests an inner need to rebel. And food related dreams suggest you might be bored with your life and you need to treat yourself - non-sexually, that is.

TEST TWO:

Study each sculpture then write down one word which sums up your feelings towards it.

If you’ve written down a word which is either erotic or positive, score yourself a tick next to that symbol. Now decide which sculpture you like best, and score yourself an extra tick against the corresponding symbol.

1. This is an erotic sculpture in the Khajuraho temple in India which depicts an erogenous orgy - oh, la la! If this is the sculpture that speaks to you the most, then you probably love the idea of more sexual freedom.

2. The Kiss by Auguste Rodin characterises a woman’s surrender to a passionate yet tender embrace. If this sculpture tickles your fancy, you might find it hard to trust a man enough to let him take control.

3. Norman Lindsay’s erotic nude sculpture details a proud woman showing off her alluring sex appeal. If you find this sculpture floats your boat, it’s likely you’re hiding a desire to be a powerful seductress yourself.

TEST THREE:

Whether it’s during some DIY time or with your lover, which of these fantasies are likely to pop into your head while you’re getting down and dirty? (Tick your top three.)

Being forced
Sex with a celebrity
Sex with two or more people
Being tied up or blindfolded
Sex with a stranger
Sex with a woman

Mostly : You may feel you can break all the rules in your sex dreams. Fantasies, such as having sex with another woman or stranger, reveal your frustration at the predictability or your ordinary life. You’re angry with yourself and you feel the only way you can get this out of your system is in the bedroom.

Mostly : Whether you toy with getting it on with an entire group of men or a gorgeous celebrity, these fantasies are about being so damn sexy that no one can resist you. However, it’s not so much about longing to be sexy, as longing for control - perhaps you don’t feel like you’re in the driver’s seat in other areas of your life.

Mostly : Fantasies where you’re tied up or “forced” reveal that you feel burdened by responsibility in your day-to-day life and that you’re looking for someone to take control in bed. If, deep down, you think sex is dirty or wrong, you may subconsciously feel guilty about it.

RESULTS:

MOSTLY : SEX SLAVE

What your kinky side’s hiding - Your fantasies tend to be about you surrendering control. In real life, you’re confident and people turn to you in a crisis - so there’s pleasure in a fantasy where someone else takes care of things. It shows a need to be protected and cared for.

What it means for your sex life - If you confess your fantasies to your partner, they’ll feel comfortable in the dominant role and it’ll also give them an ego boost.

What it means for your love life - You’re missing kind words and cuddles in your love life. Because you’re a strong person, others may not realise you can feel vulnerable and need taking care of sometimes.

What it means for your life - You need to take better care of yourself. We cannot love or take care of anyone else until we love and take care of ourselves. Know that asking for help doesn’t mean you’re weak.

MOSTLY : SEDUCTRESS

What your kinky side’s hiding - In your fantasies, men fall weak-kneed at your feet. This isn’t about wanting sex appeal, you want to dominate. Maybe someone once made you feel worthless, and you want to undo that wound to your self-esteem.

What it means for your sex life - It’s time to show your domineering side. The ultimate seduction is for him to see that you really enjoy sex.

What it means for your love life - As money forms a big part of the power and security in a relationship, you should work out whether you and your partner are hoarders, spenders or avoiders, then do something opposite to what you normally would each week. Hoarders should splash out, spenders should save and avoiders should budget. This restores balance to your relationship.

What it means for your life - You need to work on your self-esteem and learn to respect yourself. Be compassionate - listen with empathy to your inner voice. Communicate clearly and speak from the heart. Try new things, be playful and embrace the unexpected. Do what you say and say what you mean every day. Approach problems with positive expectations and learn from these tasks. Trust and believe in your own talents, and in the abilities of others.

MOSTLY : THILL SEEKER

What your kinky side’s hiding - You like your life to be stable and secure, but deep down you’re frustrated at being too scared to go after what you really want. You regret all the chances you’ve missed out on. You get stressed out and then use sex to let your hair down.

What it means for your sex life - Trying to act out wild fantasies can take the fun out of them. Instead, try sharing them anonymously, for example, start your own sex blog.

What it means for your love life - Hiding your fantasies can be a barrier to intimacy. Imagine you had one week left with your partner: would you change how you felt about him?

What it means for your life - You need to set challenging goals for yourself. Stretch yourself by learning new skills. Leaving your comfort zone will be hard at first, but it’s habit-forming.

Big love,

Ivy

xx